Counter Offer - To stay or not to stay

That is the question...

After countless hours invested in a grueling interview process, you've been offered the job. Now you've negotiated a compensation package that you're happy with and you've begun the mental transition out of your current role and into the next chapter of your life. Out with the old, in with the new. You arrange the (typically dreadful) meeting with your boss to drop the news and commence the resignation process. What's your exit strategy?

How do you approach the subject? Well, normally you start explaining your decision process and how you’ve decided to leave the company. Out of the blue, your boss surprises you with a counteroffer. It'll sound something like this:

"You were just about to the get that promotion..."

"Your review is up and we're ready to give you that much overdue pay rise."

"A new role has come up in the company that you're perfect for."

"Oh no, what bad timing, we are expanding and want you to lead a new team"

Now you've gone from no offers to two offers and you have a serious decision to make. Your heart may be telling you one thing and your brain is telling you another...

Do you stay or do you go?

According to the research, you should always go. I wholeheartedly agree with this and here's why:

If you decide to accept the counteroffer, you're accepting that the only way you can get a better deal is when you resign. The only time you get the answer to one of the above questions is when you're on your way out and they will have a gap in their team, a new hire to make, and all the training and cost associated with it. Your employer knows it's often cheaper to pay you more and offer you a better deal than to have to find a replacement. This is when people make critical errors in judgment.

You start to feel wanted by your employer again. You start to think of the raise you're about to get. You start to think of the new possibilities. However, that is the easy path. Your judgment is clouded and you probably have tunnel vision. It’s very easy to fall back into your comfort zone and it's more difficult to join a new company, with the pressures of not knowing what's ahead. You've worked for this company for years. You know the culture. The people. Your life is good.

However, you must look at the bigger picture. If your current situation was so great, why were you looking in the first place? Once a counteroffer is on the table, people are blinded by feelings of worth that their current employer showers them with. However, it's an illusion.

Obviously your employer doesn't want you to leave. If they did, you would've been let go already. And lets be honest, If they really didn't see this coming, then that is red flag number one. If you're ready to make a move and are being offered by other companies, your current boss is likely out of sync with current trends in the market. This brings up the question: Why were you not recognized for this promotion/raise/opportunity in the first place?

The counteroffer, no matter how complimentary, shouldn't be seen as supportive.

Do they really want you because of your skills and expertise?

Do they really see your true value and worth?

Or, as I mentioned earlier: do they view your (minimal, by comparison of cost of a new hire) pay increase as a cost savings? Recruitment isn't cheap. Retention is one of the biggest themes in HR roundtables every day. That counteroffer you just received may be completely selfish to hit numbers or to keep you around until they find a replacement.

Is it really best for you and your career?

Now, let's shift gears here. What are your reasons for leaving? Is it just about the money? Likely not. There is a multitude of reasons people leave their roles, namely:

(1) The relationship with their boss/counterparts: If this is the reason, money isn't going to change that.

(2) Bored and unchallenged at work: How much money would it keep you to stay on in a mundane, monotonous role?

(3) Culture: If you're not happy now, a 10-20% increase in salary likely won't make that much of a difference.

The majority of people who decide to accept the counteroffer and stay with their current company end up leaving six to nine months later. What does this tell us? Simply put - Life is about more than just money. Now that everyone knows you wanted to leave, your loyalty will be continually questioned. Need to take your son to soccer practice early or go to the doctor? These day to day tasks may be treated with suspicion from here on in... You may never be fully trusted again. You've broken that commitment to your employer that may have taken months or years to build up. The reasons you wanted to leave in the first place will still be in the back of your mind, but now that you've got more money and/or a promotion, you're given the illusion of happiness for the short term. The biggest question that remains: Are you going to have to make threats to leave every time you want a promotion or more money? Not a healthy balance.

If the counteroffer is tempting, I would thoroughly weigh all the potential outcomes of accepting it. In my experience, respectable businesses rarely make counteroffers. Normally, they will be sad to see you go, but will thank you for the contribution you have made and wish you success for the future.

Remember why you interviewed elsewhere in the first place.

At the end of the day, trust your gut and follow your heart. Pack up your desk and stick with your exit strategy. If you begin to waver, remember why you wanted to leave in the first place. Accepting a counteroffer is not usually a good idea, so move forward, thank your employer for all they've done for you and begin the next chapter in your professional career.